Why it's OK to be Single
Contributed by: @CityGirlRell
Time is ticking away and your still single. Maybe you’re in your 20’s, maybe even in your 30’s. Some friends are engaged and already married, which has you thinking, why am I still single?
Often times people view being single as a reflection of their self worth. You’ve got everything going for you, yet your single status seems to be stuck on pause. There must be something wrong with you. You need to make better relationship choices or get out more so you can meet people. You’ve either got these phrases in your mind playing on repeat or you’re sick of hearing them from other people.
There’ s no doubt that at some point or another we’ve thought about why we haven’t found the right person or why our last relationship didn’t work out. There are times when you feel lonely or that you’re not good enough. When you feel that way its worth remembering why its okay to be single:
It isn’t just a relationship status, it’s a lifestyle choice
Being single can mean being confident, setting your own rules, living out your passions, networking, you name it. Being single can mean what ever you want it to mean. Whether you attach significance to it or not, your relationship status doesn’t have to define you but it will if you let it.
There’s no reason to rush
It gives you time to figure out what you really want from life (and what you want in a partner). Your friends and family might give you a sense of urgency to settle down but really there’s not. Rushing to find someone will only lead to a perpetual cycle of relationships which are unlikely to work out. Don’t settle for the sake of it and especially don’t settle just to avoid pressure from your friends and family. The reality is, a relationship requires commitment and time. Are you really ready?
You’re just not ready for a relationship
You might have fear of missing out and all the wonderful things a relationship has to offer but if you have just come out of a relationship chances are you haven’t given yourself enough time to get over the last one, leaving you confused emotionally. There’s no doubt that you need to give yourself time to move on and redefine who you are outside of a relationship and being single can help you to achieve that.
You come to peace with your past
Have some alone time and give yourself a chance to learn who you are and learn from past experiences. Its important to have time to reflect; what went wrong, what you liked, what you didn’t like and what that all means now. There’s no doubt that you learn from all of your life experiences but its ever harder to learn from them when you’re in the moment. Having been single for two years myself I feel I’ve learned a lot more than I would have a year ago and I feel that a lot of my learning experience has been from being single and being confident about it. For sure I didn’t feel like this over night. It’s a process and it takes time but I don’t think I would have it any other way.
It's fun to date
I’ll be the first to admit that I definitely like to go out or being wined and dined. Not only are dates a great way to socialise and even expand your network, it gives you a really good idea of what you like and don’t like in someone. Dating someone doesn’t necessary mean that things will lead to a relationship and I personally feel that its best not to have that expectation in mind until you have both made it clear. Go out, get to know people and have fun!
You are not alone
There are so many people that are in the same boat as you, so don’t feel that you’re the only person who is single and without a bae as winter approaches. Your holiday photos may only consist of you and your selfie stick but that’s ok. Know that your self worth does not stem from another individual. You are single, so what! You are not better or worse off and whether you’re single or in a relationship, there are pros and cons of each.
My best Adzvice I could give is just embrace where you are in life right now and take it as it comes. You are fine just the way you are and you don’t need something or someone to change that.
Foirell Kiri is a professed writer in lifestyle, relationships, travel and finance on her personal blog www.citygirlrell.com. She works as a qualified lawyer in London and loves to travel. Other than her blog you can find her at www.twitter.com/citygirlrell or www.instagram.com/citygirlrell1.
The images within the body of this post have been sourced from pexels.com